Well, that weekend happened. For a lot of fans, it was an opportunity for them to get many laughs out at certain fanbases. For others, it was one of the more painful weekends in recent memory to be a college football fan (like myself).
You’re a Texas A&M Fan
No other way to start this one. What an atrocious weekend to be an Aggie. Texas A&M paid $1.5 million for Appalachian State to come to Kyle Field only to fall flat on its face and become a laughingstock of college football for the weekend. The Aggies just seem to do this. They may, after all, just be a permanent 8-4 squad. Maybe what they need to beat Miami this weekend is to give Jimbo Fisher another raise.
You’re a Notre Dame Fan
I know Texas A&M’s loss is bad, but y’all lost to Marshall? Really??? Will Marcus Freeman even pick up his first win this weekend? Just like A&M, your offense is complete and total garbage and I can’t even come up with one good thing to say about your team this season other than that your defense is competent enough. I don’t even think Rudy coming out of the tunnel for the Irish would help matters in South Bend. It will always be death, taxes, and Notre Dame figuring out ways to weasel its way into the top 10 in the preseason before ultimately letting its fans down in an embarrassing fashion.
You’re a College Kicker
What an epic Saturday of college kickers we got this weekend. I wish I could link every single miss that happened in this article but there are just too many. I will say, however, that the kicking fiascos that took place in the Baylor vs. BYU game made it so much more epic for all of us sickos out there. This was easily my favorite miss of the weekend though. The angle of this miss is incredible and I still don’t know how it happened. Either way, it was something to marvel at.
You’re an Iowa Fan
Don’t think I forgot about you, Iowa. This is the worst Power Five offense in the nation and it’s not close either. Spencer Petras couldn’t throw a football into the water if he were on the beach, and your games are the equivalent of torture to watch. Iowa City will continue to be home to the largest library in the country until you figure out how a modern offense works and we will continue to laugh at the box score of your games. Maybe 2023 is the year?
You’re a Nebraska Fan
It’s gotten to the point in Lincoln where I genuinely feel bad for Huskers fans. You are about to get pounded by Oklahoma with an interim head coach being thrown into the fire. I feel very bad for Mickey Joseph. He’s a legend who deserves better, but I’m happy to see him get this opportunity. I still don’t understand what took so long to fire Scott Frost. If the buyout were irrelevant, why didn’t they leave him on the tarmac in Dublin? This program is in shambles and there’s no one to blame but the administration that refused to move on. I really do want to see this program come back into relevance but that’s years away at this moment in time. You’ve still got the ’90s though.
You Called the Heisman for Anthony Richardson in Week 1
That game was all kinds of stinky for the Florida Gators. The one-week magic carpet ride was certainly fun to witness but it seems Anthony Richardson has come back down to Earth and showed some of his woes from last season. I’m included in those who bought into the hype but seeing all of the Heisman picks was just a bit ridiculous after one game.
You’re a Mizzou Fan
There may have not been a team beaten on every side of the ball in the Power Five this week more than the Missouri Tigers. You got Deuce’d and got eviscerated in ways that we don’t typically see from Kansas State. This was an ugly game to watch and it’s embarrassing that Luther Burden III isn’t getting the ball more. One reception for three yards? Really? Eli Drinkwitz is a very cool coach, but it takes more than swag to be competent at your job.
