1. Brutus Buckeye (Ohio State)

Andrew D — 1st; Andrew W — 3rd; Combined — 1st

ANDREW D: You either love him or you hate him, but he is every bit as polarizing as he is entertaining. While he may have a face that could sell as a Pinocchio reject, he is one of the best things about Ohio State football with his sideline shenanigans. Just don’t Google what he used to look like before his current look.

ANDREW W: The first mascot head Lee Corso ever put on will forever be iconic. Although looking at him when the Buckeyes are beating your team is extremely annoying, you have to respect the tradition behind him. But to be honest, I will never understand having a giant nut as your mascot.

2. Sparty (Michigan State)

Andrew D — 4th; Andrew W — 2nd; Combined — 2nd

ANDREW D: Sparty is one of the most recognizable mascots in the game. A cult icon in East Lansing, Sparty can often be seen in numerous commercials throughout the season on your TV sets as he is among the most marketable faces in the game. 

ANDREW W: My first memory of Sparty is seeing his face every time I booted up NCAA 09 on the Wii (also my first ever NCAA game). Just an all-around stellar mascot that imposes fear into all of those who go against his mighty Spartans.

T-3. Goldy Gopher (Minnesota)

Andrew D — 7th; Andrew W — 1st; Combined — T-3rd

ANDREW D: This annoying little sh** is more annoying than the gopher that pissed off Bill Murray in “Caddyshack.” When the Badgers recover the Axe, it needs to be used to chop off his teeth. You ever play the game at the carnival where you throw a ball at a clown’s teeth? How has this not been made into a game with Goldy at every Madison bar?

ANDREW W: My bias toward Minnesota is only slightly changing this pick. First off, Goldy is the second-most beloved anything in Minneapolis behind PJ Fleck, especially on gamedays. You can see him taking a convertible Jeep across campus to rally up fans in the early mornings of tailgating. He has his trademark activity in which he spins his head, body, and tail. There is no one better and my mind can not be changed. 

AHHhhhh pic.twitter.com/EjyWZ8rrMl

— Andrew Wilson 🪓 (@AndrewsterMN) October 16, 2021

T-3. Testudo (Maryland)

Andrew D — 3rd; Andrew W — 5th; Combined — T-3rd

ANDREW D: One of the most underrated mascots in not just the Big Ten, but the entire country. Testudo gives UMD students more reason to attend Terrapins football games than Taulia Tagovailoa ever can. It’s sad that the Terms can’t live up to the name of their mascot, who was named after a Roman defense formation. But this turtle has among the most lovable faces you will see on a mascot. 

ANDREW W: I just can never get behind a turtle or tortoise as a mascot for a sports team. For the mascot itself, he just looks a tad strange. I wish the “M” on the shell was a bit more profound with a bolder color. Another thing I don’t like is when a mascot has the front of its mouth closed with the sides open. 

5. Herbie Husker/Lil’ Red (Nebraska)

Andrew D — 5th; Andrew W — 4th; Combined — 5th

ANDREW D: Not to be disrespectful, but this duo being a top-five Big Ten mascot should be as flattering as calling yourself a top-five QB in the Big Ten West. One is a helium-filled baby and the other looks like the average Midwest trucker that had to buy a set of clothes at Love’s Travel Stop. Not bad, but it’s boring. About as entertaining as driving through the Cornhusker State.

ANDREW W: Lil’ Red just looks like you put a sideways cap on the Big Boy Burger logo. I like Herbie because he represents what you want a midwestern-looking mascot to be. The cowboy hat, button-down red flannel shirt, and the blue jeans with the work boots. Not great, but better than most.

6. Bucky Badger (Wisconsin)

Andrew D — 2nd; Andrew W — 8th; Combined — 6th

ANDREW D: Go to Madison, or quite frankly any part of Wisconsin, and you will see his adoration for good reason. One of the most beloved figures in his state, Bucky is an icon to all things Wisconsin and the best part is he doesn’t even have to do any special. Walk down State Street and he will attract more people than any girl could ever imagine. Just don’t ever remind him that Halloween is around the corner. 

That’s cool @UWBuckyBadger, I didn’t need to sleep tonight or anything. pic.twitter.com/9qQiDhFIeW

— Andrew. 🇵🇱|🇲🇽 (@LatiNo_Chill) October 30, 2021

ANDREW W: I actually really like the mascot that goes on Wisconsin merchandising. He looks ferocious and ready to get after you like a real badger. The costumed badger doesn’t look like anything because you can barely tell he has a smile. His mouth and his nose are both the same color with no space between them, so it looks like he just has a blank face. He also looks like a character in a cartoon that everyone likes, which makes me hate him even more. If Bucky were to ever walk down University Avenue in Minneapolis, he better hope that we don’t have eggs in our possession.

7. Herky the Hawk (Iowa)

Andrew D — 6th; Andrew W — 7th; Combined — 7th

ANDREW D: For such an angry-looking bird, this does nothing for me. I should like Herky, but he’s as unappealing as watching Spencer Petras throw the football. NEXT!!!

ANDREW W: Herky looks like the mascot that was made to be intimidating, but just isn’t. Do you remember that one kid from school that made scary faces to seem scary, but you just laughed at them? Herky is the mascot version of that kid, except hopefully that kid has never watched a Kirk Ferentz offense.

8. Willie Wildcat (Northwestern)

Andrew D — 10th; Andrew W — 6th; Combined — 8th

ANDREW D: About as unlikable as the average Chicagoan, nothing about Willie is attractive. Whenever Pat Fitzgerald signs another extension at Northwestern, he needs to insert a clause where he can kick Willie off the field whenever he pleases.

ANDREW W: Not the worst mascot, but definitely not for everyone. I assume he was designed to appeal to kids, but that may have backfired. He looks like a cross between a Five Nights at Freddy’s animatronic and a mascot for the Great Wolf Lodge. The most redeeming quality about him is that he isn’t the worst “Willie the Wildcat.”

T-9. Scarlet Knight (Rutgers)

Andrew D — 9th; Andrew W — 9th; Combined — T-9th

ANDREW D: Copy and paste of Sparty with some Microsoft paint. Don’t even TRY to copy that legend.

ANDREW W: First off, this isn’t a knight. This is a direct copy of Sparty with some red and fur on the back of the helmet. A knight has a closed helmet like what UCF has. I understand Rutgers sucks at everything besides lacrosse, but even making mascots?

T-9. Pete (Purdue)

Andrew D — 8th; Andrew W — 10th; Combined — T-9th

ANDREW D: I’m going to be honest, I did bash on Goldy a little much since I still carry my Wisconsinite card, but now we truly are in the realms of God awful Big Ten mascots. Pete looks like your average Uncle Jim at a Midwestern Thanksgiving. Whoever approved the idea of a Purdue Pete needs to be punished severely. This may have been too nice to have him this high. 

ANDREW W: If Pete ever comes near me or my children, he will be catching hands at the speed of light.

11. Nittany Lion (Penn State)

Andrew D — 11th; Andrew W — 11th; Combined — 11th

ANDREW D: Easily the lowest budget mascot in the Big Ten. I wouldn’t be surprised if Joe Paterno brought this costume when he first got to Penn State. Not only is the costume super generic, but so is the name. Why just the team name??? Christ above, I am not even sure if this costume has been washed since the Nittany Lion arrived in Happy Valley. While he may not be the absolute ugliest, he is easily the most uncharismatic, and if you provide zero entertainment value to college football, you deserve zero respect. 

ANDREW W: The Nittany Lion is an emotionless, scarf-wearing, grown-up version of a Teddy Graham.