Per Investopedia, Americans will spend an average of $36.84 on Halloween costumes. If college football fans want their money to be well-spent, I have got the list just for you. This will be a mix of trendy and timeless classics along with some abstract ideas that require some creativity. Shoutout to The Shotgun Start podcast for inspiration, especially for the abstract costumes.
Current Costumes
– Deion Sanders: Wear a cool watch, sunglasses, a hoodie where the hood is off or on depending if your team is beating a national title runner-up or blowing a 29-0 lead.
– Travis Hunter: Wear a full Colorado football uniform with a #12 jersey. To make this complete, you can only get your candy while trick-or-treating by intercepting candy meant for others.
– Kirby Smart: Wear a Georgia visor and polo, a headset, nice slacks and have two giant, gaudy rings on your fingers.
– Jim Harbaugh: Wear khakis, sunglasses or regular glasses, and a long sleeve shirt. You could also have all of this but go shirtless. Also you must carry a tall glass of milk with you at all times.
– Caleb Williams: Wear a USC football uniform head to toe with a #13 jersey. What makes this costume work is while you walk you duck, dodge and dip around any incoming person, vehicle, or any other obstruction on the way between houses. Just don’t walk on people’s lawns please. If you want to spice things up, wear a #13 Oklahoma football jersey.
– A referee: Simply wear a striped referee shirt. Constantly throw penalty flags all evening for the most incorrect reasons.
– Gus Johnson: Wear business formal attire. Constantly rev up your voice in anticipation of candy and get loud once you receive it. If you get a full-sized candy bar instead of those tiny fun-sized ones, yell excitedly to the point of a voice crack. If you happen to be talking to someone and it slips they’re hosting a Halloween party without you, exclaim “You got a party back there?! And you didn’t invite me? HURT. MY. FEELINGS!”
– Jimbo Fisher: Walk around with a giant binder full of paper but you only open it to the same two pages. Bonus points if you can wheel around in an office chair that is slowly catching on fire.
– Wear a football uniform incorporating pieces from USC, Georgia, West Virginia and Rice. You’re JT Daniels.
Timeless Classics
– The Heisman Trophy: Wear a full-body, skin-tight suit and get sprayed in shiny bronze spray paint
– The infamous Bobby Petrino post-motorcycle accident picture
– A list within this list: Top 10 Mascot Costumes (School in parentheses)
10: Knightro (UCF)
9: Cy (Iowa State)
8: Ramblin’ Wreck (Georgia Tech)
7: Brutus Buckeye (Ohio State)
6: The Duck (Oregon)
5: Harry the Husky (Washington)
4: Keggy the Keg (Dartmouth)
3: Purdue Pete (Purdue)
2: Stanford Tree (Stanford)
1: Big Red (Western Kentucky)
– Mike Gundy with a newspaper in your hand: When people ask who you are you have to scream “I’m a man! I’m 40!”
– Have a friend or two wheel you around in a cot and you can be Hugh Freeze.
Abstract
I’ll admit, I put way more effort into this section because it is way more entertaining. Any creative readers are welcomed to leave their suggestions on our various social medias.
A Jimbo Fisher Specific Section
– Dress up in a trendy costume from 10 years ago.
– A snake oil salesman.
– That infamous picture of the Cleveland Browns fan with a jersey listing all the Browns failed quarterbacks except it is a list of all the failed quarterbacks coached by Fisher.
– A clown.
Non-Jimbo Fisher Abstract Section
– Maize and Blue Trojan Horse: Connor Stalions
– A black horse carrying a Heisman Trophy: Bo Nix
– Little Debbie: Nick Saban
– The three little pigs and one regular dude: Bryson Barnes
– Rob Lowe wearing the NFL hat: Jim Harbaugh
– Dr. Frankenstein: Dabo Swinney giving his “BYOG” speech.
– Robin Hood: Michael Penix Jr.
– A unicorn or any other imaginary creature: UCF’s 2017 National Title
– If you are a lot taller than a friend, dress in an Alabama #2 jersey and bring them along. When asked, say you’re Derrick Henry and your friend is Mark Ingram.
– Walk around with a bunch of calculators and computers running a bunch of numbers: Josh Pate’s model figuring out the latest JP Poll but when someone asks about it just give ambiguous answers and keep referring to “the model” and walk away without explaining.
– Ronald McDonald: A Tennessee recruiter
– The old dude from “Up”: Anyone who hates on the transfer portal, NIL, etc.
– Somehow dress up as the meme where the dog is in the house burning down saying “This is fine”: Larry Scott and/or George Kliavkoff
– The three blind mice: An officiating crew.
– A baby kangaroo carrying around a bottle of freshwater: Lane Kiffin
– Carry bottles of glitter and spill it all over the neighborhood: Pat McAfee. Fun at first, but now all over the place and you can’t get rid of it no matter how much you’d like to.
– A frazzled chef and The Grinch: Lincoln Riley and Alex Grinch
– Three cans of an adult beverage: The Beers brothers of Florida International (Rocky and Rowdy) along with their sister Raegan who plays basketball for Oregon State.
– A Swiss Army knife: Brock Bowers
– Get a shirt with the Gmail app with zero notifications printed on it: Dan Enos
– Tim Robinson in a hotdog suit: TV networks destroying college football wondering where all this realignment that is destroying conferences came from.
– Someone carrying a stone tablet with the words “Playbook” carved on it: Brian Ferentz.
– Someone who likes all candy, but especially likes the not so popular or well liked candy (candy corn): The Sickos Committee (shoutout to the Sickos Committee!)
– One of those inflatable dinosaur costumes: Any coach who willingly punts on fourth-and-short from the opponent’s 37-yard line.
– Wear just a mascot head: Lee Corso.
– Foghorn Leghorn: Dabo Swinney
– A minor league baseball player: Tim Tebow
– A cobra carrying a white flag in its mouth: A Surrender Cobra
– A tree covered in climbing crabs: Michael Crabtree
– A clown: Insert your favorite coach to hate on here.
– A whole circus: The NCAA
About the author
I’m a Washington Huskies fan who is still amazed but not surprised that we didn’t have more success under Chris Petersen (I blame Jake Browning). Sports are my life. I know nothing else. I graduated from Bethany Lutheran College with a degree in Communication. I’ve been a part of a newspaper since 8th grade, including my college’s official newspaper where I was co-copy editor.
