The day we were all waiting for just came and went… a bittersweet moment. There were highs and lows, heartwarming moments and extremely weird ones. But we got through it in one piece! I’ll be inviting you to my cranium and I’ll just ramble on about the first round of the 2023 NFL Draft and share my thoughts. Simple.

Houston, We Might Have A Problem

The Houston Texans made a SPLASH tonight with the selection of C.J. Stroud and a massive trade to acquire the game wrecker that is Will Anderson Jr. But boy… did they pay A LOT to make this happen. Houston sent No. 12, 33, a 2024 first, and a 2024 third… that’s a RICH price to pay for a defensive player. That’s the price to pay if you’re moving up for a QB. And I think in some strange way, Houston is looking at this like it paid that price for Stroud. It’s insane to think about, but follow me here.

The Texans knew if they took Anderson Jr. at three, they’d be out of the chase for Stroud. Arizona was closing in on a deal with Tennessee for three and that would have netted the Titans Stroud. When Houston took Stroud at two, several teams just didn’t bother to move up for three anymore so Houston took the chance to go get Will. I really think in the Texans’ minds, they essentially view it as a trade for Stroud. It’s weird, it’s strange, bizarre even. I could be completely wrong too. I’m just attempting to make sense of this because a team with a fractured roster just traded away MULTIPLE pivotal picks amid a rebuild. Is Houston moving the needle enough in Stroud’s rookie season with this team?! That ‘24 first is SUPER VALUABLE and should be a much more prized possession for a rebuilding team… I don’t know man…

Look. I love C.J. Stroud. He’s my top QB in the class. I love Will Anderson Jr. He’s my second-best player in the class (excluding QBs). So at least the Texans are walking away with major players who will be studs and difference makers. But while a step forward was taken, a step or two was still taken back. This team has to accelerate their rebuild and become a player in the AFC South ASAP. Or else this night was a failure despite landing two of the best players in the class. At the very least Houston still has Cleveland’s 2024 first so uhhhh… just hope those dudes play a brutal season and hand you a strong pick next year.

Seattle’s Starpower

Pete Carroll was tweeting clues about his first-round pick all day long. It seemed like the hints were all about Anthony Richardson. But Richardson went fourth and Seattle was on the clock with many believing Jalen Carter was the play. These dudes messed around and took DEVON WITHERSPOON at FIVE and I LOVE IT! I am such a big advocate for pairing young, elite talents at CB through the draft. Seattle made me really happy tonight as Spoon will kick it with Tariq Woolen in front of rowdy Seahawks fans. Team needs are always blown completely out of proportion as to how important they are. Seattle made a move in which it envisioned a future of Woolen and Witherspoon locking up passing games and performing at the highest level on cheap deals. That’s how you do it. It’s also the best duo of W’s since Waluigi and Wario. And then in what seemed like an eternity later, Seattle was on the clock again at No. 20. Jaxon Smith-Njigba was the pick. Despite the need for front seven help, everyone thought those trenches were going to be addressed but Seattle faded the need twice. I really respect a franchise that knows what’s up, knows team needs are overrated. Because guess what? Team needs are ever changing. While CB and WR might not be “needed” today, they could have become needs in September. Let’s also not forget that the Seahawks still have valuable picks with No. 37 and 52. Both picks can be applied to the trenches and we’ll all be happy right?

Well I know one thing is for certain… Seahawks fans should be ecstatic about this first round haul. Y’all got the consensus CB1 and WR1 without having to move a spot. For me, Spoon is my CB2 but he’s my seventh-ranked player (excluding QBs). With JSN, y’all get my WR1 and top player in the entire class (excluding QBs). I already touched on Spoon and how he and Woolen will thrive together. Those two are going to play such an appealing brand of football it’s amazing. JSN will slot in next to DK Metcalf and Tyler Lockett. What an opportunity the prolific wideout has to learn from two exceptional talents. Lockett turns 31 in the fall, and JSN will be taking over for him eventually. The tandem of DK and JSN is scary to think about! A dynamic duo with Metcalf taking the top off defenses and Smith-Njigba carving over the middle with his surgical route-running. An aesthetically pleasing WR duo, can’t wait. I definitely rambled on with these Seahawks thoughts but the fact of the matter is… I’m so impressed. It’s an A grade first round from me cause we don’t do A+’s around here. 

The Highs and Lows of Detroit’s Day

Well… that happened. The night for Detroit started so hot. A subtle trade of moving down from No. 6 to No. 12 after Witherspoon was taken at No. 5. The Lions added picks No. 34 and 168 in addition to No. 12 in exchange for No. 6 and 81. It’s a good move. That deal put the Lions in a position to succeed as they were equipped with picks No. 12, 18, 34, 48, and 55. A heck of a lot of valuable capital to do lethal damage with in a class that’s loaded with quality talent in the second round. And then… a pick was made. Jahmyr Gibbs. Who I love, we all love. This young man deserves this so much, all the things he’s overcome in his life… he’s been through a lot. I am ecstatic for Gibbs and can’t wait to see him play ball. Detroit got a heck of a player. But they go RB at No. 12. Just not getting good value out of a top pick. And we can dub Gibbs as an offensive weapon instead of RB. That’s okay! My instant reaction to this pick was, “WHAT!!!?” One of the few moments where I’m exclaiming my immediate thought… and I had a smile on my face because of how happy I was for Gibbs. I then thought to myself, this isn’t that bad if they are going to use this offensive weapon in a multitude of ways. He’s electric. I then thought hmm… if they are this high on him as opposed to the other available talent but still have picks No. 18, 34, 48, and 55… this is okay. I can live with it. You didn’t want to flirt with the risk of missing out on Gibbs if someone jumped in front of you to take him at No. 17 or something. All good. Until it wasn’t.

Because what in the world is that Jack Campbell pick at No. 18?! The two least valuable positions to draft early are RB and LB! What are we doing?! It’s nonsensical. It’s the complete opposite way of achieving value and making good draft decisions. This is a team that just signed David Montgomery and Alex Anzalone to deals as well. By no means am I a Montgomery guy, but y’all paid him so… Then still went for a running back and off-ball linebacker in the top 20… HOW?! It’s baffling to me, really is. It’s the Campbell selection that sets me over the edge and makes me mad. I’ll ignore the WRs that were selected right after Campbell and say this… you took an off-ball linebacker over a stud corner in Deonte Banks who is dripping with so many excellent traits. You’d have gotten so much more value in the corner. Like what are we doing!! Well, at least they have some really big picks to try and hit on in Round 2. Let’s just hope the Lions don’t draft three nose tackles or something.

The Fall of Will Levis

Those who know me know two things. One, I’m a ginger and very proud of it. Two, I never understood any Will Levis hype and that doubt dates back a very long time. The fact of the matter is I feel bad for the guy. This weekend is supposed to be the time of his life and his dreams are all coming true. Instead, we see a freefall where he doesn’t get selected on night one. And with that come the cameras. ESPN could not stop shoving the camera in his face and putting him, his sisters, his mom, and his girlfriend on camera, creating all sorts of awkward moments. I’m doing my thing and tweeting stuff off @NoContextCFB because it’s pretty much my job, and there are some absolute buffoons clowning Levis and saying he deserves this… HUH?! Deserves WHAT?! As if Will was the one who gassed himself to the moon and ranked himself as top QB and player in the class. He ain’t the media. He didn’t do this. He didn’t deserve this. Sure, I don’t view him as a first rounder and never have, but at least I can recognize that a fellow human being shouldn’t have to go through that rollercoaster on national television and be shredded for it like it’s his fault. People are just weird bruh. And credit to Levis, he handled this stuff well. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and kept his poise during an ominous night. Maybe he’ll prove us all wrong and we’ll look back on this night with plenty of laughs but for now… let the kid live. Stop harassing him. Get the camera out of his face for literally one second…

Good Pick, Bad Pick, Good Pick

I made this up two seconds ago and thought the name was catchy. I’m going to give you a good pick, then a bad pick, and another good pick.

Good – Deonte Banks CB — Maryland (New York Giants, 24th Overall)

This was a STEAL! Banks is my CB5 in an absolutely filthy corner class. When we analyze this first round and look at the players who went before and around Banks… he sticks out. I think the Giants got a heist here and one of the better value picks tonight.

Bad – Will McDonald IV EDGE — Iowa State (New York Jets, 15th Overall)

The Jets front office was planning on adding an offensive lineman today. Then three of them went in the first 11 picks… ruh roh! Broderick Jones became the lone option for them at No. 15, but the New England Patriots did their rival dirty by moving out of the pick for cheap and handing Pittsburgh the opportunity to snipe Jones. The Jets were then stuck at 15 and had to make quick work of what to do. I’m thinking to myself… Here comes a reach, here comes a reach. And they did. Will McDonald IV at FIFTEEN?! REALLY?! I’m not even the biggest Nolan Smith guy but goodness just take him. Take my guy Myles Murphy. Or even Felix Anudike-Uzomah because he is in fact the better player in my honest opinion. Should’ve just taken whatever trade you could’ve taken. Just a classic Jets pick. 

Good – Myles Murphy EDGE — Clemson (Cincinnati Bengals, 28th Overall)

Y’all let Myles Murphy go 28th overall… This is going to look hilarious in a few years. Be prepared for people to question how on earth the Bengals got this talent that late in the first. A steal. No… a heist.

The Tight End Dilemma

Yeah, so… this is how I win. I’ve exclaimed for months that multiple tight ends were not going in the first round. I scoffed at the thought of FOUR going, which was a popular mock draft experiment from many for way too long. In the end, it’s only Dalton Kincaid hearing his name called on night one as Buffalo scooped him up with the 25th overall pick. So I’ll take my slight victory lap here and tip my cap to NFL front offices. The TE class is loaded and it’s deep. I’m glad they recognized this and didn’t panic by jumping at them today. Just let the board come to you. Be patient. At the end of the day, the tight end position sees a lot more success from Day 2 and 3 picks than it does on Day 1. And I mean… A LOT more success.

Winning Wideouts

The talk was that three or four receivers would go in the first and we saw four. Quentin Johnston was the only true wildcard as JSN, Zay Flowers, and Jordan Addison were pretty much all locks. I think it’s neat we saw them go back to back to back to back. It’ll be fun to view on the Wikipedia page for years to come as we evaluate who has the best career.

As I said a long time ago, JSN is going to thrive in Seattle. That’s a stellar pick.

Quentin Johnston went next at No. 21 to the Chargers. An interesting selection that I didn’t see coming. I figured they’d prefer Zay or Addison as opposed to another big body wideout like Mike Williams. I really don’t love the fit for the Chargers. Justin Herbert takes a lot of shots, and Johnston has a poor 34.8% contest catch rate. Williams makes those grabs almost all the time, but can Johnston do it? I worry about that. The Chargers were in dire need of a separator and don’t get that in Q while Zay and Addison do offer that. So yeah… not my favorite pick of the bunch to say the least.

It always breaks my heart seeing one of my guys at receiver be drafted by Baltimore. It’s brutal for fantasy football reasons, and do you really want one of your guys playing in that scheme? I don’t, and it’s hindered some promising receivers. I think Zay fits in really well though, and getting him as the WR3 is really nice. He’s going to rack up touches and help electrify an offense that has plenty of juice already. Lamar Jackson should approve of Zay, and I think I’m warming up to the idea of Flowers in Baltimore!

Jordan Addison is walking into Minnesota as the WR2 next to Justin Jefferson. This is my favorite landing spot of the four receivers. Addison is going to feast, he’s going to produce, and he’s going to be learning from Justin Jefferson. I’m stoked. STOKED! An A grade for Minnesota. I love this.

See You Tomorrow!

Plenty more picks and fun on the way tomorrow. I CAN’T WAIT! There are so many superb players available that will outperform their draft position.