Welcome to a loaded Week 2. We have major games in every time slot. There is massive blue blood collision in the evening, Coach Prime intrigue at noon, and some afternoon high-scoring affairs. 

The TV schedule is a bit wonky this week. The ACC Network has a quadruple-header which kicks off at 11 a.m. ET, forcing some games to start at weird purgatory time slots. And some decent matchups are shuffled off on to streaming only: SMU-Oklahoma could be pointsy, Middle Tennessee is at Missouri where the Blue Raiders won last time out, UAB vs. Georgia Southern has some Group of Five intrigue, and Texas State at UTSA is suddenly promising.

But you might find it difficult to carve out some time for those games, because this schedule is packed. Enjoy.

Below, I’ve listed the nationally-televised games, sorted by viewing window for you to keep track. All times are Eastern, because, well, duh. Included is each team’s rank in Bill Connelly’s preseason SP+ rankings to give you a sense of the matchup.

Let’s get it on in Week Zero!

Friday, September 8:

Indiana State (FCS) at Indiana (85) – 7 PM on BTN

Illinois (52) at Kansas (54) – 7:30 PM on ESPN2

The Bill Self Bowl pits two stylistically polar opposites in what could be a fun little game. Illinois wants to embody Big Ten West bullyball, and the Jayhawks play a wide-open, defense-optional style. 

Saturday Noon:

Vanderbilt (73) at Wake Forest (37) – 11 AM on ACCN

This one kicks off an hour earlier than the rest of the noon slate, giving you a chance to avoid both the sleazeball ex-coach on one channel and the weirdly yelling punter bro on the other. 

Ball State (115) at Georgia (2) 12 PM on SECN

Georgia’s grueling non-conference schedule marches on.

Delaware State (FCS) at Army (106) – 12 PM on CBS Sports Network

If you want to watch some programs going through existential crises right now, this is the first game of a service academy triple-header on CBS Sports Network. Army scrapped the triple this offseason, and the new offense was miserable last week against UL-Monroe. 

James Madison (60) at Virginia (99) – 12 PM on ESPNU

This will be one of the most emotional sporting events many of us have ever seen. For Virginia, this is its first home game since a mass shooter claimed the lives of three football players last fall, and injured another. Sports can play an important part in the healing process for a community, and so while college football might not seem important in the face of such tragedy, this Saturday’s contest will be an emotional endeavor for Charlottesville. 

Nebraska (55) at Colorado (82) – 12 PM on Fox

On one hand, it’s probably not great for college sports that a coach can run off about 80% of his roster in one offseason and be so famously successful. On the other hand, it’s definitely good for college football for a coaching star to emerge from a new career path, not following the typical method that incubates nepotism, burnout, and white supremacy. So, all in all, Deion Sanders is a land of contrasts. 

Notre Dame (8) at NC State (50) – 12 PM on ABC

Sam Hartman’s mini farewell tour visiting his old ACC buddies begins with a trip to NC State. He struggled against the Wolfpack leading the Wake Forest offense. Were those issues something he couldn’t diagnose or because NC State defensive coordinator Tony Gibson had a good handle on the Wake slow mesh system?

Purdue (64) at Virginia Tech (65) – 12 PM on ESPN2

Who scheduled this one, a random number generator? 

Troy (62) at Kansas State (17) – 12 PM on FS1

A matchup of two reigning conference champions with sky-high expectations for the season. Troy was an all-defense outfit last year; the Trojans’ offense was sorta miserable but the defense was a top 10 unit in the country. In the opener, the offense looked a lot better than last season, but potentially a worrisome start for the defense. They’ll need to be as good as they were last season to hang in the Little Apple. 

Utah (16) at Baylor (56) – 12 PM on ESPN

An undersized Baylor team got kinda pushed around by Texas State, as the Bobcats snagged their first Power Five win since graduating to FBS. That might be a bad sign for the Bears in this one, as they welcome in one of college football’s preeminent push-you-around programs. 

Youngstown State (FCS) at Ohio State (4) – 12 PM on BTN

Midday:

Charleston Southern (FCS) at Clemson (23) – 2:15 PM on ACCN

Iowa (33) at Iowa State (46) – 3:30 PM on Fox

The real drama here will be how hard the Fox broadcast goes into shaming and criticizing the players and programs of both schools caught up in their respective betting scandals, while also running countless ads for DraftKings and FanDuel. If the Ferentz nepotism and the gambling scandal doesn’t make you feel icky enough, Donald Trump will be in attendance!

Ole Miss (14) at Tulane (32) – 3:30 PM on ESPN2

POINTS!!

Texas A&M (15) at Miami (FL) (24) – 3:30 PM on ABC

NO POINTS!!

Richmond (FCS) at Michigan State (47) – 3:30 PM OR UTEP (94) at Northwestern (100) – 3:30 PM on BTN

UNLV (93) at Michigan (3)  – 3:30 PM on CBS

This is spiritually the Traditional Unwatchable Big Ten Network Noon Game of the Week. What is this blowout doing here, on mainline CBS? Someone messed up. I’m intrigued by UNLV with Doug Brumfield running the Go-Go offense, coordinated by DC’s own Brennan Marion, but this is a bad spot.

Wagner (FCS) at Navy (114) – 3:30 PM on CBS Sports Network

Kent State (133) at Arkansas (19) – 4 PM on SECN

This is the “do you want to see a dead body?” game of the week. 

Marshall (77) at East Carolina (96) – 4 PM on ESPNU

This is a fun little Group Of Five matchup. Marshall has a really good defense with some absolute dudes on that side of the ball. East Carolina has been known to sling it around under Mike Houston, although the Pirates are rebuilding now.

Tulsa (90) at Washington (12) – 5 PM on PAC-12N

Appalachian State (70) at North Carolina (21) – 5:15 PM on ACCN

Last season these teams got together and scored 60 on each other. Let’s do it again, shall we? 

Primetime:

Cincinnati (38) at Pittsburgh (28) – 6:30 PM on CW Network

This is an AFC North game on the teen drama channel. No, I don’t know what’s going on, either. 

Oregon (10) at Texas Tech (44) – 7 PM on Fox

It’s the Tyler Shough Bowl! It’s the Tim DeRuyter Bowl! Both Texas Tech’s quarterback and defensive coordinator will be out for revenge against the Ducks after being shuffled out of the program. 

Texas (13) at Alabama (1) – 7 PM on ESPN

It’s the Game of the Century of the Week. This might just be a regular old boring conference game by 2033, but it is 2023, and it’s the standout of the season. Texas lost by the skin of its teeth last fall, and you know Steve Sarkisian has been deep in his bag of tricks all offseason. It’s an exclusive company for Nick Saban pupils that have toppled their former mentor; it would be an earth-shattering moment if Texas can win and Sark joins that rare air. 

UCF (22) at Boise State (72) – 7 PM on FS1

Boise State looked vulnerable last weekend getting flattened by Washington, but the Huskies are going to do that to a lot of teams. UCF can’t stress teams through the air the same way Washington can — not many teams can — so Boise should bounce back. 

Arizona (58) at Mississippi State (20) – 7:30 PM on SECN

Charlotte (117) at Maryland (30) – 7:30 PM on NBC

Eastern Michigan (101) at Minnesota (39) OR Temple (107) at Rutgers (69) – 7:30 PM on BTN 

McNeese (FCS) at Florida (41) – 7:30 PM on ESPNU

UCLA (31) at San Diego State (78) – 7:30 PM on CBS

Wisconsin (26) at Washington State (48) – 7:30 PM on ABC

A revenge spot for Wisconsin, which lost a bizarre home game last season to these Cougs. 

Air Force (68) vs. Sam Houston (110) – 8 PM on CBS Sports Network

Our academy triple header wraps up with a neutral site game in Houston. 

Southern Miss (88) at Florida State (11) – 8:30 PM on ACCN

Late Night:

UC Davis (FCS) at Oregon State (29) – 9 PM on PAC-12N

Stanford (83) at USC (7) – 10:30 PM on Fox

Stanford might already be competent on offense, despite a portal exodus and a complete roster rebuild. Will the Cardinal have enough to challenge USC and Caleb Williams? We have finally freed the Heisman Winner from the unseen clutches of the Pac-12 Network. 

Auburn (18) at California (49) – 10:30 PM on ESPN

Oklahoma State (45) at Arizona State (75) – 10:30 PM on FS1

This is the Petros Papadakis game.